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The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality sent a complaint to Limestone County Judge Daniel Burkeen about David Cousins, a resident of Thornton, who rented out a cabin to hunters without a proper latrine facility.
The commission wanted the good judge to investigate.
Oh, he will. But he is busy.
“We have had some delay in our investigation of the incidents alleged in the complaint which you kindly forwarded to us,” Judge Burkeen wrote to the commission. “The problem is, we have recently had a rash of reports of cows, horses, sheep and goats defecating at will in pastures throughout the county. On top of this, we suspect that wild hogs, deer and all sorts of other animals are defecating without even trying to find a proper facility. In addition, I have personal proof on my windshield of a mischievous bird defecating in flight. The culprit flew away, but I did get a description. It was red. The gift it left was white.”
Sounds as if they have quite a problem in Texas.
And at the end of his letter, Judge Burkeen properly identified it: “Lastly, please allow us to handle this at the local level, and do not involve the federal government. When it comes to matters of excessive defecation, Washington bureaucrats would only add to our misery. Don’t Mess in Texas.’”
The problem in Texas is the state has this commission that has too little to do, too much power and too much time on its hands.
I read this in an email about a month or so ago. It was too funny! And I remember the complaints about cattle and run off into the bays.